Why am I still doing such things, gestures, treatment, when I know PAIN is going to kill me in the end?…. Is doing my best a matter of everything?..I didn’t know what to say or do but somehow I would rather go on of what is best to somebody even people are laughing at me for being hopeless martyrdom. Two years ago I almost made it to face our Creator but it wasn’t yet my time to join Him. I thought it is a wake up call to stop everything for what I have been feeling and doing to such.I don’t want to use the word LOVE in my writings this is because I do believe that no human being has ever define or give the perfect meaning of LOVE. Your ways and means everyday with countless caring will always be weapon to kill someones pride and guilt…. TO BE CONTINUED
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When reaching a certain destination I took all the means to get there. By land, sea or air. I saw a movie about winning in the lottery stars Nicholas Cage. It is one of the movies in the 90’s where simple story began on a single bet in the history if American Lottery. It changes one’s life when big amount of money is at stake. But in the long run you can never tell why such piece of paper will push a person to commit some unacceptable behavior to others. When you are not too contented of what you can reach maybe due to lifestyle or the type of circle of friends you have has a significant contributions on how you look at money in your own perspective way. Way back then when you are having a hard time raising a certain amount of money for you to spend, yet your behavior is amazing as well as the way you treat others in your own small way. We cannot buy friends. Friends are supposed to be valuable, priceless and sacred. But with a small amount of money anything can turn the tide.
If I have to reflect on something or to imagine how I would be if I were a thing. I think of being a shoe. It comes in different sizes, designs, models or even brands. But didn’t you know above all what I said it is still the hardest role to play as a shoe. A shoe can be worn on all types of weather, terrain and it carries the total weight of the one using it. You might be in a huge crowd or the least will be inside the box for a short or long period of time. It might be that when I will be worn to serve and give comfort to the feet. Comforting and protecting an individual comes with sacrifices and happiness. When I started defending and comforting my friend, there were times that he/she is not aware that after all those times yet they still hurt me. It is like a pair of shoes leaving them somewhere , anywhere in any corners of the room. I can never believe my life will be into pair of shoes. Giving comfort while at the same time sacrificing myself to give awesome comfort to the one using those shoes.What a gestures if my life would be spend making people happy and comfortably everyday. But when time cones that I would no longer be useful due to old style or rip off ,,then I will be put somewhere back as a raw material.
Its the most painful experience I ever had. Hopefully memories would probably ware it off. You ca never tell when a person will change or dump you for their own benefits.